Dwelling on the Past
by THEbookwormways
Summary: What would have happened if Haymitch and Maysilee had been in love before the games? Is this the reason Haymitch is a drunk? Read to find out.It is OOC from when Peeta and Katniss watched in CF.
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

My beautiful Maysilee and I stroll down the streets of the town in District Twelve holding on to every last moment possible before today. Of course we are, today is the day of the reaping. We usually wouldn't show ourselves in public due to the fact that Maysilee is a merchant girl and I am a boy from the Seam, but we felt we must because our chances of being reaped are even bigger due to the fact that this year's games will, unfortunately, be the second Quarter Quell. "This year," our snakelike President said, "In honor of the second Quarter Quell, to remind the rebels that even innocent children died in the Dark Days, there will be twice as many tributes." My mother had let out a small shriek for my name was in the glass ball so many times I was sure to go in. It was for this reason Maysilee and I were walking in public less than two hours away from my death sentence. Maysilee , being from town, would surely not be picked. For her name was in only five times, which was less than most people from District 12.

"She won't be picked," I tell myself, "She won't be picked."

But I couldn't have been more wrong, it was even worse.


	2. Chapter 2:Reapings begin

I am dreading the fact that I will have to let go of Maysilee when it is time to say goodbye.

"Don't worry Haymitch, I will be fine. You should be worried about yourself like I am worried about you." She says, there is a sound of sorrow in her voice. Maysilee knows I will probably get picked; she just doesn't want to admit it.

"You know I can't help it Maysilee," I say, "I love you too much not to be worried-"

"Haymitch," she scolds, "I don't want to hear it! You keep talking like you are going to die! You need to think the positive!"

"I know Maysilee, but-"

"But nothing Haymitch Abernathy," her eyes soften, "I love you. See you at the square." With that she gives me a quick kiss and walks off.

"Haymitch!" my best friend, Phoenix Everdeen runs over, he is the only one that knows about me and Maysilee. The only reason he does is because he is also dating a merchant girl secretly. Her name is Michelle and her parents own the apothecary shop in town. She is also Maysilee's closest friend and confidant.

"Hey Phoenix," I say wearily.

"Another fight with Maysilee about the reaping?" he asks.

"Yeah, she won't let it go," I mumble.

"Awww buddy, you are not the only one. Michelle and I were fighting a little bit ago, man I hope she doesn't get picked."

"I gotta go Phoenix, I will see you in the square."

"Yeah, see ya buddy," he mumbles as I begin to walk off towards my house. We are both sixteen like Maysilee and Michelle so we will al be together. I hasten to get dressed into my reaping clothes so I can get to Maysilee. I don't like the idea of her having to stand there alone in a crowd, she hates them. As I walk out the front porch, I notice my little sister sitting on the porch. She is in one of my mother's old reaping dresses when she her age. She is only seven, thank goodness, so she won't be in the reaping. She looks up as I walk past.

"Haymitch?" she asks.

"Yeah," I reply.

"Be safe ok?" she asks as her eyes start to water.

My heart melts, "I will try. I have to go now ok? You be a good girl for mommy and daddy."

"Ok," she says and she walks over to me and gives me a hug. I leave my sister there; I don't want to say good-bye because I don't want her to cry. I make my way through the crowd of people from the Seam. We are heading in one direction so I just go with the flow. When we arrive at the square I find Maysilee in the sixteen year olds section.

I slip under the velvet ropes just in time because the mayor begins to speak, "Welcome to the 25th reaping of the Hunger Games…"


	3. Chapter 3:The Calling of the Name

Hey guys sorry I haven't updated in really long. I have a HUGE apology to make: I am really sorry that I didn't look at the book when I put what number games Haymitch was in. It was actually the fiftieth games (Thank you Ansosa!) Ok, enough of the small talk on to the story.

Disclaimer: I do not and never will own the Hunger Games

Previously:

I slip under the velvet ropes just in time because the mayor begins to speak, "Welcome to the 50th reaping of the Hunger Games…"

I make my way through the crowd and when I get to Maysilee, I see she is barely holding back tears. Quickly I grab her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. She shouldn't be this upset. I see Michelle and Pheonix holding hand and staring into each others eyes. It is almost like a silent goodbye. Then closer to Maysilee is her twin sister, Camryn, and her boyfriend, Bob Undersee. They are also holding hands and staring into each others eyes.

Seeing that Maysilee still isn't very happy, I pull her close and nestle my face in her hair. The loving embrace doesn't last long because soon, Michelle and Camryn are demanding to comfort her. I see Bob and Pheonix with resigned looks on their face as they stand back and let the girls take over. I saunter over and I am just about to say something when the mayor ends the Treaty of Treason and the history of Panem.

Michelle, Camryn, and Maysilee all lock hands with each other and hold each other close. I almost see a smile graze across Maysilee's face as the new escort of District Twelve, Effie (A/N: Effie seems pretty old.) Trinkett walks up and begins with an old trade mark, "Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor!"

She then proceeds to tell everyone how happy she is to be there, but, of course, we all know she is just itching to get up in a better district. When she FINALLY finishes, she says a traditional line, "Ladies First!"

I suck in my breath and I am praying that it won't be Maysilee, won't be Maysilee. It isn't the first time and a little of the tension releases in my chest, but not all. The first girl was from the Seam. Poor girl. Now it is time for the second, Effie's mouth is opening with the name I hold my breath praying harder for my love's safety. I don't get it, and everything goes numb.


	4. Chapter 4: The end of the World

No….no….no this cannot be happening! She had a little amount of slips in the reaping! I did everything I could so she wouldn't get picked. Wait did I really? I am starting to fall as Pheonix grabs my arm and supports me as Michelle and Camryn hug Maysilee. Even from here I can see their tears. Yet, Maysilee doesn't cry.

Why am I surprised? She will do whatever she can to return home to me if I don't get picked. She will come back to me into my arms where I can hold her tight forever. Maysilee bravely begins to walk forward using stiff quick steps and she is holding back tears. Effie Trinkett then asks her what her name is.

"M…M…Maysilee Donner." She stammers. I myself am holding back tears. She then looks into the crowd and catches my eye. Her eyes wander over to Pheonix's hand on my arm supporting me, and I see it is all she can do not to let a tear fall down.

"Alright, now that we have our ladies, let us go to the boys!" trills Effie. I suddenly consider volunteering to protect Maysilee. I would be able to make sure she gets home **(A/N: Remind you of someone? ;))**, but it is as if she can read my mind when she gives the slightest shake of her head as she looks in my eyes. I sigh, of course not; I should have none she wouldn't have wanted me to.

Effie bounces over to the boys bowl and begins to read the first name. Oh thank goodness. It is not me, Pheonix, or Bob. Of course that doesn't guarantee that we won't be picked, but we have less of a chance. Effie than watches as the boy comes up to the stage. He is small, black hair, gray eyes; definitely from the Seam.

He comes up and then begins to sniffle. Oh that is so pathetic for a boy to be doing that. He looks young though, so I shouldn't judge him like that. Effie then announces that she will pick the second boy. I hold my breath. This is the moment of truth. Effie's mouth begins to move making the sound of the name chosen. And my world crashes down.

**Sorry I know it is a cliffie and I probably won't be able to update soon. Be happy that I was able to do two chapters today so more for you to read. I will try to update this weekend and I don't have school Friday so I will try to update! :) :) **

**Hugs and Kisses,**

**Ilovebooks-122798**


	5. Chapter 5: More

"Haymitch Abernathy," Effie says. Her voice produces an echo around the silent square. It can't be…this can't be happening. Of course, I should have seen this coming. The odds are never in my favor. I look at Maysilee and see a single tear track down her face. She meets my eyes and I silently tell her to not cry. I don't want her to seem like a weakling to the competition. Pheonix starts to make a sound but I silence him with a look. I don't need him doing any favors for me. Pheonix gives me a pleading look but he knows all too well that I will NOT let him get away with it. I slowly begin to make my way to the stage.

I look into Maysilee's eyes and try to tell her that I love her so much and that I win't let her die. This doesn't work because her eyes begin to get watery as she figures out my message. I walk up the stairs and suddenly hear a distant sobbing sound. I look into the crowd and see my little sister slinging to my mother with tears cascading down her face. My mother has them too, the tears, they fall silently down her face as my father wraps his arms around her; comforting her just like I wish I could do to Maysilee.

"Well, this is going to be a WONDERFUL year isn't it now!" Effie exclaims. Oh Effie, if only you knew. The national anthem then proceeds to play and all the tributes shake hands. Maysilee and I give each other comforting squeezes when we shake our hands. I know this is probably killing her like it is killing me. We are escorted out of the square by burly peacekeepers. Our next destination, the Justice Building, where we will say our heart throbbing goodbyes to our family and friends.

We are piled into a musty old elevator and slowly creep our way upwards. It smells of rotten milk and moves like a snail. It takes us about five minutes just to reach the second floor. We are each escorted into different rooms. The room I am sent into is probably the most lavish room I have ever been in. I sit down on a velvet couch and wait for the allotted times to say goodbye.


	6. Chapter 6: Author's Q

Hey, sorry this isn't a chapter! This is an author's note. I have something I need you guys to do. Can you check out my poll? It has some major things to do with the next few chapters! I will update VERY soon!

-Keep Reading,

Ilovebooks-122798


	7. Chapter 7:The Fight of Love

The first group of people that come in to see me is my family. My mother is holding my sister tight with tears streaming down both of their faces. My father has his arms around my mother and I see even he, the one I always looked up to; the one I thought was strong, is crying. My sister catches sight of me and runs over. "Oh H-h-h-h-haymitch!" she cries and buries her head in my chest.

"Shhhhh baby its ok," I try to assure her, though she knows I love Maysilee and will probably die for her, "Don't cry, I promise you will be ok."

My sister is as stubborn as any other seven year old so of course, my plan fails miserably. "I AM NOT WORRIED ABOUT MYSELF BUCKO!" she screams at me.

"Whoa hold it there, I love you too….thanks for being a good sister to me." I say.

"Haymitch," my mother scolds me, "don't talk like that!"

I look at her in pure disbelief. "What? You know it is true mom! You know I will die! Oh and why don't we just add the fact that, I AM IN LOVE WITH ONE OF THE OTHER TRIBUTES SO I WILL DEFINITELY NOT BE COMING BACK BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" I scream. Oh, right when those words leave my mouth I regret saying them, my parents didn't know until now.

"MAYSILEE DONNER?" my father bellows as he stares at me, "but, she is a merchant girl! You cannot love her, I forbid it!"

"You can't stop me from doing anything I possibly desire." I retort, the rage and adrenaline is surging through my veins. As I am saying this, I see a peacekeeper peek his head through. When he sees my father looking like he is about to punch me he walks in and escorts my family out. Well, that went really well. Lovely, the way forbidden love works.

My next visitors are expected, it is Phoenix, Michelle, Camryn, and Bob. Michelle and Camryn have tears pouring down their faces, and both Phoenix and Bob have their arms rapped around their girl.

"Haymitch-," Phoenix begins.

"Save it Phoenix, you and I know very well that I will do everything in my power to make sure Maysilee returns instead of me. This is probably the last time you will EVER see me Phoenix and I already got in a fight. I don't want you to remember me angrily." I interrupt. Oh, how I love my friends, but at times I hate them.

**Hey, sorry that I was unable to update sooner, but I am now on my last stretch of the school year and as soon as I am out I will update much faster (hopefully)! I hope you like this chapter! I wrote it especially long for you! I am computer class right now though so my time is limited! I will try to update again this week, but no promises. My teachers are unpredictable, but if I have no homework you will se another chapter in your future! **

**REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW!**

**Hugs and Kisses,**

**Ilovebooks-122798**


	8. Chapter 8:Block

Hey everybody, sorry I am suffering from writer's block! I cannot think of what to do for the next chapter! Please PM me if you have any ideas on what to do with the goodbyes for Haymitch and his friends! Please forgive me! I feel so stupid making this a note instead of a chapter! I will think of something REALLY SOON! I am going to keep brainstorming and let ya know what happens!

-Hugs and Kisses & Keep Reading!,

Ilovebooks-122798


	9. Chapter 9:The Goodbyes for Life

**you guys must hate me now. I am so SORRY I haven't updated in FOREVER! I will try to update more frequently now. We are almost to the games! EEEKK!**

Phoenix looks at me, defeated. He knows I love Maysilee too much to let her die. She is my life now, there is no way I will let her die. Oh wait, I just said that. Great I'm gonna be half mad by the time I get in the arena if I keep repeating myself.

I look at Camryn, Maysilee loves her so much. "You know I will save her. I will do my best to protect her. She will come home if I can help it Camryn."

She nods, but then looks at me sadly, "If you fail, Haymitch, I want you to do your best to come home. I know that is what Maysilee would want. Please Haymitch, don't give up yet."

I nod numbly, if I fail, I don't want to live, but if Maysilee wants me to than I will continue for both of us. "Goodbye guys, I hope you guys have a great life." I say, because honestly, I don't think I will return, ever.

"Bye old pal. Try to come back." Phoenix says. With that everyone waves, and walks out of the room. That's it, the last time I will ever see my friends.

No one comes after my friends, and a half hour later a peacekeeper comes and escorts me to a car. This is the first time I've ever been in a car, and I wonder if this will be the last. I see Maysilee get into the car next to me and I catch her eye. I can see she has been crying because she has a tear-stained face. I try to give her a reassuring look, but I am shoved into the car before I can.

We arrive at the train station shortly after and we are required to stand in front of the train as the cameras eat up our faces. I try to make my face impassive, and I look to the screen quickly to see that it is working. I look almost bored out of my mind standing there. After about five minutes, we are ushered into the train.

Now I must talk to Maysilee…

**I know, it is short, but I didn't have a lot of time. Now that I have started up I will hopefully update more now. If you AWESOME readers have any suggestions, let me know. You can PM or review and I will take your idea into consideration! Now, you know what to do!**

**Review here**

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	10. Chapter 10:The Talk

As we enter the train, I catch Maysilee's eye. I nod towards the room that I had been assigned by Effie. She doesn't do anything except begin to walk towards the room. I follow her into the room and lock the door behind me.

"Maysilee…" I begin to say, but she cuts me off.

"Don't Haymitch, just please don't. I know what you're going to say, and I just don't want to hear it!" she exclaims. Tears start to form and she collapses on the bed. I rush over to her and take her small frame in my arms.

"Shhhhhh Maysilee, I won't. I won't say the words," I soothe, running my hand through her hair.

"w-w-w-w-w-why us, Haymitch? why us? It just isn't f-f-f-f-f-f-fair!"

"I don't know sweetheart, I don't know."

"Haymitch, if I don't make it out-"

"Don't," I say the temprature in the room seems to drop, "Don't say those things ever agian in front of me. I WILL NOT lose you, ya hear?"

"But Haymitch-"

"No, just please no" I say, I'm trying to stay strong for her, but a single tear escapes my eye. Maysilee sees it and wipes it away with her thumb. She puts her hand on my face, and I lean in at the touch. we meet each others eyes and just stare. I can see all the love she has for me in her eyes, and I know that my eyes reflect the same thing to her. We stay like this for a while, just staring, enjoying each others company. This could be the last time we truly have peace, and i just want to savor it forever.

Forever is too good to be true because all to soon, it is time to go to dinner. We will meet our mentor and Lord, I just hope he can help me save my love...

**Ok I know this is really short, but I didn't have much time. School has been hectic now that it has started and this is like the first time I have had peace ALL WEEK! I will try to update soon. Sorry this chapter took SO LONG! I changed my penname so now I am THEbookwormways.**

**Talk to y'all soon! Ya know what ta do! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

**TBWW**


	11. Chapter 11

Dear faithful readers,

I am SO SORRY,, but I have decided to discontinue this story. It was my first chapter book, and I just don't have the time to continue. I'm so sorry! If you are interested (you all probably hate me right now) I will be writing some one shots and short stories soon about Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Gone with the Wind, Maximum Ride, and Divergent! Thank you for your faithfulness and once again, I am so sorry!

Love you all,

THEBookwormways


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